Eat Your F**king Vegetables

Have you heard of the book Go the F**k to Sleep by Adam Mansbach?  If so, you’ll get this post. If not, go buy the f**ing book for a good laugh.







Eat Your F**king Vegetables

The ranch dressing is on the side, my love

I’ve steamed the carrots just how you like

Eat them up real quick

And I’ll buy you a brand new bike

Please eat your f**ing vegetables


I’ve sculpted sailboats from peppers

And avocado butterflies

I’ve snuck zucchini in muffins

And stuck to my lies

Now eat your f**ing vegetables


Do you like the homemade spring roll

Or the brussel spourts snowman

I roasted your favorite potatoes

And got burned on the pan

Eat your f**ing vegetables


You like food on a stick

I slaved hours making veggie kabobs

I skewed all of your favorites

Tomatoes, Squash and Broccoli raab

Open up and eat your f**king vegetables


I spent all day on Sunday

Packing your lunch for school

I heard you threw it in the trash

That is so not cool

That’s it….eat your f**king vegetables


I want you to grow up strong and healthy

And I love you more than life itself

When you are a grown man

I want you to have more than chicken nuggest on your shelf

So stop complaining and eat your f***king vegetables


**Disclaimer – I love my kids more than anything in the world and would never utter these words to them, but c’mon parents, tell me that you’ve never actually thought these words?

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